In the West, the word “masculine” might conjure images of the muscled arms and hairy chests of Hollywood hunks, or the bespoke suits and deep-set eyes of British heartthrobs. In an Asian context, there seems to be a more diverse range, from the airbrushed complexions of male K-pop stars; to the moody models of fashion shoots; to the boy-next-door types known as yanxinan. But have these versions of masculinity truly entered the mainstream?
Diversity is a watchword across social media, but on television—in China, at least—they still blur out men’s earrings and tattoos. Even boy bands find their images altered so that everyone appears with the same black hair. There are sets of unspoken rules that everyone follows.
As men face these conflicting pressures, who do they want to be? We asked ten men and women with different backgrounds to share their understanding of masculinity. The answers might expand your definition of the word—or make you think any definition is pointless.
西方世界里，好莱坞大片中体魄强健毛发旺盛的肌肉男，或者英剧里西装革履眼睛深邃的绅士，也许是你看到“男性气质”这四个字时在脑海里一闪而过的印象。回到东方语境里，更多类型的男性似乎涌现至眼前，迎着 K-pop 大潮而来的五官精致、肤白纤细的小鲜肉们；时髦着装五官特别的超模脸；抑或是长相清淡衣着宽松的盐系男… 但他们是被特定人群追捧着，还是真的有被归入到主流审美麾下？似乎仍待商榷。
在当下，虽然多元化这个词语像口号一样肆虐在我们的社交网络，但当你打开电视，男生的耳钉与纹身依然呈现一团模糊，甚至原本炫丽的男团都变成清一色的乌黑头发，无名氏制定着无形的规则，却让所有人都默默遵守着。
面对这些困惑，究竟男性想要成为谁？我们因此邀请了 10 位风格迥异的男男女女来聊聊男性气质这件事，也许他们会帮你拓宽这个定义，又或者定义根本是多余的。
Liu Hao
Model
Masculinity, I suppose, is the behavior and speech that stems from identifying as a man. People always mistakenly equate masculinity with manliness or with macho-ness. When I was a kid, I didn’t really fit the so-called universal norms, and I was criticized and even bullied. But growing up I actually benefited in school and work from not being “masculine” in the usual way.
My paragon of manliness: Maybe there’s no specific individual who totally fits the bill.
刘浩
模特
男性气质大概是由男性的自我认知传达出来的言行举止。人们总是会误把男性气质与男子气概或者男人味划等号，我童年时期也因为本性不太符合所谓的普遍标准，而遭受一些批评甚至霸凌，但成长到今天我的学习工作反而都因为不大一样的“男性气质”而颇有获益。
最欣赏的男性：可能还真的没有一个很具象的个体可以准确承载。
Shancheng Hao’er
Experimental Musician
People are always stuck on an intrinsic framework and aesthetic. They don’t understand that masculinity can be diverse, and sometimes even have negative opinions about that diversity. Only when people accept a “degendered” framework and aesthetic will the world be full of peace and love.
My paragon of manliness: A man who doesn’t exist, someone with divine hearing with the ability to both “hear” sights and sounds.
山城浩二
实验音乐人
大众总是会停留在一种固有的认知和审美上，他们并不能理解男性气质可以是多元化的，甚至对这些多元有一些负面的注解，只有等到大众接受“去性别化”的认知和审美，世界才会充满和平与爱。
最欣赏的男性：虚拟“耳朵仙”（浩二自己想像的虚拟形象）。他的耳朵可以是听觉也可以理解为视觉。
Yan Yubo
Yoga Instructor & Model
In my opinion, a man should be able to protect a girl and have a sense of responsibility. They don’t necessarily need to be unbelievably handsome. Being able to take responsibility is really manly. When faced with problems, he shouldn’t get nervous like a little kid, and he should know what he wants. But society today thinks that all men need to be somewhat successful. It’s like everyone’s given a framework with a single standard, something that may not be very good for men or women.
My paragon of manliness: Brian O’Conner from The Fast and the Furious.
彦禹博
瑜伽教练与模特
我觉得一个男生会保护女孩子，有责任感，不用非常帅，但有担当会很 man。在面对一些大事时，不会像小孩子一样紧张，并且会知道自己想要什么。但当下社会会觉得男性必须要有所成就，像给每个人一个统一标准的框，可能这点无论对于男生或女生而言都不太好吧。
最欣赏的男性：《速度与激情》（ The Fast and the Furious）里 Brian O’Conner 的角色。
Duy Nguyen
Photographer
Nowadays you often hear the phrases “be a man” or “man up,” which translates to “don’t be weak.” Another phrase you hear a lot is “real men,” a stereotype of what a man is supposed to be like. Aren’t all men real? I think maybe that you need to be physically and mentally strong all the time in order to be defined as masculine.
My paragon of manliness: I don’t think much about this, but maybe it must be my teacher in secondary school. I remember the times I had the chance to talk to him and he was always very encouraging and motivated me to become a better person. He always talked to me in a way that made me feel big. Some teachers are good at making you feel small, he was not one of them.
Duy Nguyen
摄影师
现在经常听到有人说“要像个男人一样”或者“男人点”，这句话背后的意思是“别怂”。我们还会听到一种说法叫“真正的男人”，这也是对一个男人应该是什么样的刻板印象——无论气质怎样，但男人不都是“真正的”吗？我想这就是说，你既要在物理性别上为男，心理上也要很阳刚，才能被定义为男性。
最欣赏的男性: 我没多想，但可能必须提道我的中学老师。我记得我有机会和他交谈的时候，他总是很鼓励我，激励我成为一个更好的人。他跟我说话的方式总是让我觉得自己很伟大。有些老师很擅长让你觉得自己很渺小，他不是。
Zhang Ao
Stylist
For me, the word “masculinity” is meaningless. It doesn’t affect me, because I just do what I like. Today, there are traits associated with men, like acting and speaking in a “manly” way, or not wearing dresses or form-fitting clothes.
My paragon of manliness: Stephen Fung, in the gay drama Bishonen. He’s sexy and pretty.
张奥
造型师
男性气质这个词对我个人而言没什么意义，对我也没什么影响，因为自己开心就好。当下对男性有一些固化特征，比如言谈举止需要比较 man，不可以日常穿着紧身衣跟裙子。
最欣赏的男性：冯德伦，《美少年之恋》（ Bishonen）里面的他又性感又漂亮。
Luo Qianxi
Illustrator
I think the definition of masculinity has started to get blurry. I’ve noticed that Chinese people now use the English word “man” to describe someone’s looks, and the word itself has already gone from positive to neutral. People have a lot of set ideas about men: “boys don’t cry,” “men don’t submit,” “men pick up the tab,” and so on. But being brave and sticking to one’s guns are things everyone should strive for, men and women both. Men and women aren’t as different as plants and animals. Or to put it another way, weakness or sensitivity are individual traits. The gender binary is too blunt.
My paragon of manliness: I’ll just mention a Japanese show I’ve been watching called Sparks. It’s a story about someone who chases their dreams and fails. The male lead is kind-hearted, careful, and brave, and his courage is hidden under his shyness. It’s very realistic.
罗浅溪
插画艺术家
我觉得对于男性气质定义在今天已经开始模糊了，我发现如今大家似乎更多将“很man”这个词用在外表描述上，“man”这个词本身已经从褒义词变成了中性词。通常大家会有一些“男儿有泪不轻弹”，“男儿膝下有黄金”，“男性买单”之类的陈词滥调，但勇敢、不屈服这些品质应该是每一个人的追求，不分男女。男人女人的区别并不像一株植物和一只动物那么大。退一步说，敏感、柔弱这些只是个人特质，性别二元论啊，太粗糙了。
最欣赏的男性：说一个我最近在看的日剧《火花》（Sparks）吧。这是一个追梦失败的故事。男主角的性格善良细腻勇敢，而且他的勇敢是藏在怯弱之下的，这非常真实。
Guo Zhenhao
Fashion Designer
Different men have different aspirations. I don’t buy into the traditional notions of masculinity, but traditional pressures have still influenced my development as a man, leading me to give up on things I find comforting. In modern society, the man can often be held to very fixed expectations. They’re expected to pay for dinner, be buff, have a scruffy beard, be valorous, and have a deep voice.
My paragon of manliness: There are quite a few. The most “manly” men in my eyes present their machoness through their personality, for example, Eddie Redmaye, who’s not afraid to show a sensitive side. Fan Qihui is another; by day he’s a professor, and by night, he’s a drag diva. I have a lot of respect for men who aren’t afraid to rebel.
郭震昊
服装设计师
不同的男孩会想成为不同的自己，我不喜欢统一标准的男性气质。但以前的自己仍然迫于压力在成长过程中放弃了一些天然的让我感觉舒服的东西。在当下大环境下，男性被制订了太多规则（并非个人观点），比如男性应该买单，应该壮，应该有胡子，应该刚硬果敢、声音浑厚。
最欣赏的男性：太多了，更多是精神层面的羡慕和佩服，比如 Eddie Redmayne，敢于表现阴柔面的直男，还有樊其辉，白天教授，晚上变装皇后，敢于对时代反抗的男子，我很欣赏
An Qi
Fashion Buyer
Perhaps masculinity means a sense of responsibility, generosity, self-cultivation, and management. When I was little I thought masculinity mostly meant manly looks. Today, I’m gradually starting to think perhaps masculinity is expressed in a lot of different ways, such as personality, demeanor, individual works, etc. But for now, hormones, muscles, facial hair seem to predominate in the definition of masculinity.
My paragon of manliness: Huang Lei, the good stay-at-home man. Shy and talented, he understands how to find a balance between work and family, art and commerce.
安琪
服装店主
男性气质也许意味着有担当有责任感，大度，自我修养与管理。小的时候可能觉得男性气质就是偏向于外表的男性化吧，现在慢慢觉得男性气质可以从很多面去表达，比如性格，言行举止，个人作品这些。但现在荷尔蒙、肌肉、胡须这些标签似乎仍然占领着男性气质的高地。
最欣赏的男性：居家好男人黄磊，内敛又有才华，懂得调和家庭与事业、艺术与商业的平衡。
Jiaozi
Personal Trainer
To put it simply, masculinity is psychological and physiological. It encompasses qualities of the mind and the body—both are indispensable—and it amplifies them. As far back as I can remember, whenever I’d make a mistake or slip up, my mom would tell me, “You’re a man—pick yourself up, correct course, and keep going.” So I’ve always thought that this is something a man should be able to do. Nowadays most men, or most straight men, are wimps. They’re emasculated. And pop stars are every bit as boring as the songs they sing. While I respect that everyone is going after something different, I don’t want to sugarcoat it. I think that guys today, from their aesthetic taste to their bearing and demeanor, have a lot of room for improvement. I work in Sanlitun, in Beijing, and every day I see all kinds of men and women. Plenty of women are put together, but quality men you can count on one hand. It’s like Japan in the mid-90s—the economy is strong and people have broader horizons, and they’re showing off. But they’re not making progress on the essentials.
My paragon of manliness: Brad Pitt.
饺子
健身教练
简单来说男性气质是心理跟生理上的，是拥抱精神与身体上的特质并加以放大，两者缺一不可。从我记事儿起，做错事或者摔倒了都会听见妈妈说，你是个男子汉，爬起来改正继续向前，所以直到现在我一直觉得这是每个男人本该具备的。现在大部分的男人都很怂，很中性化。还有这些所谓的明星们，就好像现在的音乐一样无聊。我不怎么爱标榜，尊重每个人的追求，但我觉得无论从审美品味，或对自我言行举止的要求来看，现在的男生都还有很大的上升空间，比如我工作在北京三里屯，每天看到很多形形色色的男女，正的妹子很多，优质的男生却居指可数。感觉很像 90 年代中期的日本，大家在经济和思想开放的基础上追求浮华，却缺少对本质上的提升。
最欣赏的男性：Brad Pitt。
Chen Chen Chen
Music Producer & Visual Artist
Masculinity, I think, ought to mean knowing how to handle things in a way that’s fair to everyone. In terms of physical appearance, I used to think that the handsome, television-ready faces that women found attractive were really manly, but recently I’ve started to find that nerdy, science looks are also very attractive—the kind of face with a lot of character that you could capture in a drawing. Personally I don’t really like seeing the men who model themselves after Korean standards, which feel overly beautiful—even when you draw them, you can’t tell them apart. Men should still take care of themselves, but they shouldn’t be too dainty.
My paragon of manliness: The first man who comes to mind is my doctoral advisor Chen Jiayang. He’s the type of person I strive to be, and when I’m around him I feel at ease. He exudes an energy that makes even uncultured folks turn into model citizens.
陈陈陈
音乐制作人人 & 艺术家
我觉得男性气质应该意味着专注，知道怎么用对大家都好的一种方式去处事。外型上，我以前会觉得床霸脸（以前新闻男主播那种长相）会很 man，但现在开始发觉一些非常理工科的长相也很吸引人，就是长相较有特色可以一下子用画表现出来的那种。个人不太喜欢那种非常韩范的花样美男，就算画出来也认不出是谁，觉得男生不要不修边幅，但也不用过于精致。
最欣赏的男性：首先想到的是我的博士生导师陈嘉映先生，是我向往的一种形象，在他身边会感觉如沐春风，那种散发出来的气质会让他方圆百里以内的那些也许转身就会吐痰的人瞬间变得人模人样的。
